You will have to go through the process or learn how to get back on your feet after a divorce. And get it done quickly.
Regardless of whether you are the person initiating the divorce or are on the receiving end, moving quickly would be a great part of the ratio here.
It wasn’t that long ago that letting people know you were divorced made you a social pariah. Times have changed, and you can get plenty of advice and support from a number of places, including the Internet.
We will look at some of the most common issues you will have to deal with, and chart a course to flipping the switch to single life. Please be sure to get all the legal matters out of the way in your divorce. Then start to deal with You.
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Emotional
Before you can begin to seriously think about moving forward and starting over, you will need to take some time to create some emotional distance from your spouse. This is not as easy as it sounds, especially if you have children together. A starting point must be to find a place to physically live apart from the other person.
Denial is one of the most common responses for either person. On the one hand, the person who initiated the divorce is intellectually justifying the reasons for the divorce, while the person who is served the papers is trying to wade through the confusion caused by the often unexpected event.
Once the divorce is final, the reality is the order of the day. For many couples, there were many significant memories created over the years and many “firsts.” There will be 1,000 things that will trigger both good and bad memories, and denying their effect on you will only drag on the emotional recovery process.
The simplest solution is to face up to the decision and admit there were both good and bad times, regardless of the final outcome. Men and women are both allowed to cry in private moments (semi-private if you care to share with friends or family).
Crying is a great stress reliever and will be an emotional admission that regardless of how you feel, there was a committed emotional involvement that will take time to fade away.
Time is another emotional factor. The longer you were married, the longer it will take to set your emotional feet under you. Everyone is different, so there is no hard and fast formula.
However, unless you were living apart prior to the divorce for some time, you will have gotten used to the other person being everywhere in your life: leaving in the morning, coming home at night, eating dinner together, or sharing the holidays together.
The absence of the other person will not always be felt, but at other times such as holidays and family gatherings, there will be a distinct echo. As many people have discovered, you can neither rush nor flush your feelings about divorce.
Financial
Too many people believe finances are the number one priority when it comes to getting back on your feet. That is only true if you were totally dependent on the other person for financial survival, have zero marketable skills, or literally have been taken to the financial cleaners as a result of the divorce.
Related Video Of Starting Over After A Divorce
For everyone else, it is a matter of getting up in the morning as you always have, walking out the door and getting to work on time. It may not be easy, but it is the way life is.
The reason for the heartless get-up-and-go-to-work approach is that unless you win the lottery, you will have to basically take care of yourself. Consider the everyday list of essential financials you will have to take care of:
- Rent or mortgage
- Utilities
- Food
- Gas
- Car payments
- Insurance payments
- Phone
Bills have to be paid, so in a loose sense survival is the order of every day. If both people were working, two joint incomes have now become two separate incomes. Those who already have financial stability can begin to take care of their investments, making sure all the legal loopholes have been closed to protect their personal assets not lost in the divorce process.
A final note about putting finances as number 2 on the list. You should not lose your job because you are an emotional wreck or because you cannot function near your best at the office or at home.
Taking a few days off – even if you are the owner of a business – may be necessary to be anywhere near your best. The company will survive without you unless you are the sole employee.
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Ways To Back On Your Feet After A Divorce:
Start An Online Business
I want to list this separately from finances although they obviously go hand in hand. Regardless of the hand, you end up being dealt you can benefit from starting an online business
Let me list a few of the benefits…..
- – gender neutral
- – easy to start
- – low cost
- – time management
- – increased income
- – new career
I am partial to affiliate marketing and think it is the best way for the average person to make some extra money. It is also a great way to help us get back on our feet after a divorce.
Whether you are male or female, rich or poor, educated or not, and so on, anyone can start an online business in affiliate marketing, and millions all over the world already have! When I say low cost I really mean it as well.
How does less than $100 sound to you? The cost is low and the skill level you need is something anyone can learn in their spare time. Does that sound like something you may want to check out?
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Some very good tips here, I never thought of creating a blog post from this (my) experience. I divorced in 2013, he was a nasty psychopath. I stuck out for 18 years because of the children, but as they got older they were more than happy for me to divorce him. It was the hardest thing I did because we ended up taking him to court for cruelty. I don’t know how I ended up with him or put up with him for so long, but I decided rather than become bitter Id use it to make myself a better person. I don’t think about him much now, only occasionally it passes through my mind how evil he was. There is life after divorce, you don’t see it at the time. My children introduced me to a nice man 2 years ago and we married last Sept. My girls have a nice dad now who is very lovely and respectable, he really does set a good example. My final words are: Its never too late to enjoy life and everyone deserves to be happy…God wants it no other way!
Glad that you were able to get back on your feet after a grueling relationship. Now that your life is happier, I am glad that it finally end up wonderful for you. I wish your relationship continue to grow and that you live your life as you so deserve. God Speed.
Hi David,
Thanks for sharing your personal story of live after divorce. I can see that you have really lived this path and now you have come out the other side. Good on you for coming out level headed and obviously a better person for growing through all that pain.
These tips are common sense, neutral and will help all your readers reach a better final outcome.
Thanks for sharing. I was just wondering if you had any children and how you managed to co-parent them?
Thank you for you comment.Over the past years I had some friends who went through a divorce and I was able to talk to them quite often during their ordeal. I realize the ones that got busy are the ones that use their time to better themselves and was able to ease the pain.